Welcome to my Book of Mirrors



This is my spiritual journey. I am looking for the truth of who I am and who God is, unfettered by the traditions prescribed by my family, church and culture.

25 February 2008

'I found God in myself and I loved her fiercely.'

Ntozake Shange

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Self-realization is the knowing in all parts of body, mind, and soul that you are now in possession of the kingdom of God; that you do not have to pray that it come to you; that God’s omnipresence is your omnipresence; and that all that you need to do is improve your knowing.

-Paramahansa Yogananda

Friday, April 11, 2008


The Great Lie that Jesus came to free us from, has, ironically, been perpetuated by Christianity.

The lie is this: You are separate from God. Therefore, if you want to be like God, you must do something.

The tempter in the garden was the first, then there were the Pharisees, then there is the modern day Christian Church.

This is their 'Good News': You are cut off from God because of your sin. Because of this, you deserve to die. However, because someone died in your place, all you have to do is follow the One who died, and you will be re-united with God.

Then men come along and tell you their interpretation of the One who died, what he said and did, what he meant, and what 'following Him' entails.

This is not Good News! This is exchanging one death sentence for another.

Jesus did not say 'because of my faith/sacrafice, you are healed.'

No! He said: 'because of your faith you are healed.' (Luke 18:42, 8:48 etc)

Jesus said: 'God said to certain leaders of the people, I say you are gods!...those people, who recieved God's message, were called gods.' (John 10:34-35 NLT)

Jesus' life and death demonstrated that we are one with God throughout our life and death.

His purpose wasn't to die. His purpose was to show us how we can live, even after death.

God's presence was always accessible to all- even before Jesus' death. (Moses, David etc)

We don't have to 'invite God in.' We have to realise God has always been there.

Jesus didn't 'make us right with God.' He reminded us we are gods. (Psalm 82:6)

He wasn't the Great Exception. He was the Great Example.

This is the Good News.


The separation is a lie. It's the TRUTH that sets us free, not the sacrafice.

Anyone who knows the TRUTH knows God. That is why Jesus said He was the way. Not because it is an elitist system whereby only Christians can know God. But because those who know God, know the Truth. Because we are in God and God is in us, just as God is in Jesus and vice versa. We are all one. If you know God, you know everyone who is in God. We recognise each other by our fruits (Luke 6:43) not by our fish stickers or WWJD bracelets.

Then when we know, there is NO NEED for a priest, a minister, a church, or even a Holy Book. These are external things that detract us from the SOURCE, who is within us.

We need only to quieten our minds to listen to it. Then it doesn't matter what anyone else says, or how they interpret what is right or wrong. Because we are gods.

If only we knew it.

Ultimately it is fear of surrender, of dying to our false identity that holds us back. We think we are our sin- and we think that sin is an object. It is BELIEVING that our sin has cut us off from God that separates us, not the sin itself!

Sin is merely an action that causes an undesirable effect in our lives. If we only knew the truth about ourselves. The part of us that is TRULY us, is the part that has no sin, no separation from God. If we acknowledged that, we would know that we only sin when we move out of that 'knowing.'

If I remain, abide, in that state of realisation, as Jesus told us to (John 15:4) we would never sin! And all the residue of our past sin would evaporate. In the East, permanently abiding in this state of awareness is called 'enlightenment.'

Even before we reach permanent enlightenment, when we do stray from the truth, and thereby sin, all we have to do is REMEMBER WHO WE ARE and get right back to that awareness again. Don't be guilty, don't make penance through self-punishment. Just ABIDE, ABIDE, ABIDE!!

If I am part of God, I need not fear. I always was and always will be. I do not need to act. And if I do, it will be GOOD actions.

NO ONE can tell you how to act. When you are enlightened, you may do things that even appear to contradict Jesus' message of 'turn the other cheek.' When Jesus went into the temple with a whip, did he look like he was 'turning the other cheek?'

He must have scared the pants off them! And everyone who knew the scriptures (Pharisees) thought he was always flaunting them! But it didn't matter.

Because HE KNEW he was God, and he answered to NOBODY BUT HIMSELF.

So when you know God, you will answer to no-one else. Things you say and do may shock Christians. You may appear to be a heathen. But only those who are also enlightened, will know. They will not judge. They will simply see your fruits- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and self-control. The rest doesn't matter.


God is not on my side. God is on OUR side.

God cannot be found in Christianity, Islam, Paganism. God can only be found in YOU.

Just shut up and listen to Her! (Or Him, if you like.)

You will never be the same. Once you've tasted it, YOU CAN'T GO BACK!!

'The last obstacle, is believing there is an obstacle.'



I have grasped the truth that I AM.

The first and only lie is that we are separate from God.

We have never been separate from God. We never could be. We simply believed we were, and acted accordingly.

I AM because YOU ARE.

I am perfect, holy, without sin. I have no guilt, no shame. I am whole and complete. I never needed to do anything to achieve this state, other than accept it. In this moment I have all the power, all the grace I will ever need. I just need to abide in it!

So mote it be!


There are basically two movements of consciousness: Love and Fear. Love is allowing what is and fear is resisting it.


O SERVANT, where dost thou seek Me?
Lo! I am beside thee.
I am neither in temple nor in mosque: I am neither in Kaaba nor in Kailash:
Neither am I in rites and ceremonies, nor in Yoga and renunciation.
If thou art a true seeker, thou shalt at once see Me: thou shalt meet Me in a moment of time.
Kabîr says, "O Sadhu! God is the breath of all breath.

-Kabir (1440-1518)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ignorance vs Understanding

The original meaning of sin was simply to fall short of or "miss the mark" of spiritual perfection. A sin is not a thing, it is merely an activity that produces an undesirable effect in our lives. In other words, we are punished by our sins, not for them.

(From the United Church of Religious Science website)

Ignorance is a sin. I know I am suffering from it. Sometimes I even acknowledge it. But often I find I am attacked for having this condition, rather than recieving any compassion. At least I am aware of my ignorance, and sometimes able to be aware of the ignorance in the person attacking me (because attacking an ignorant person is ignorance! If you really knew someone was ignorant, you would have compassion for them, unless you were evil!)

We adopted a puppy eight weeks ago. We have never had a dog before. We thought now was a good time because we have the space (half an acre) and getting it while the kids were young would truly make it part of the family.

We spent a lot of money on a crate, blanket, toys, collar, leash, having vaccinations, de-worming, and buying the 'best' dog food from the vet. We have been keeping 'Bongo' on the deck and the fenced area below, because the rest of our yard doesn't have a fence yet. He was mostly inside when we first got him, but was peeing everywhere including his bed (even after being outside for half an hour- he would come in and pee on his bed immediately!) With four kids I couldn't keep on top of it, so we decided to postpone it until he has been neutered next month.

He does bark outside, but when we moved in, before we had a dog, our neighbour's two dogs would bark all night long. It drove us crazy until we got used to it. So we figured no-one would mind about Bongo! They bark at each other, appearing to have conversations.

Bongo has not yet had all his vaccinations, and we have been advised by the vet not to take him for walks until the course of vaccinations is complete. But we know this is only a temporary thing.

Imagine our surprise to receive an anonymous letter yesterday signed 'several families in the neighbourhood,' accusing us of dog abuse! This letter said we were neglecting our dog by not giving it any attention or taking it for walks, and allowing it to bark in the night.

We were shocked. I immediately went to two different neighbours to find out who had sent it, in the hopes of discussing it like a good neighbour (not a coward who sends cruel anonymous letters!) One was not home, the other denied knowing anything about it. I explained, regardless, that we had only had the dog eight weeks, it did not have all its shots, and we were planning on keeping him inside when he had been neutered.

The neighbours I spoke to have two dogs in a small fenced area that are able to go in and out of their garage through a dog flap. They bark in the night frequently and I have never seen them taken for walks.

On the other side, the neighbour has a dog but no fence. This dog stays inside most of the time (I assume, because I don't see it) except for when it is allowed to wander all over the neighbourhood, pooping in other people's yards (including ours!) We have seen the owner sometimes take the dog for a proper walk, and watched him allow his dog to poop on other front yards without scooping it!

We have no neighbours behind us, so I can only assume one of these two dog owners sent us the letter accusing us of neglect.

The mind boggles.

It reminds me of the many times childless strangers have made comments to me about my children in public places. Once, in the Army and Navy, a woman told me I wasn't keeping close enough to my kids who were buckled in to a double stroller. She grabbed the stroller and pulled it towards me. I didn't have a chance to explain that the aisle was too narrow and once the girls were in arm's length they would grab everything off the rails.

Goddess help me to remember, if I see someone appearing to neglect their kids or dog, to act in a kind and compassionate manner!